Raft-centric

"[A] man, who going on a journey, sees a great stretch of water, the near bank with dangers and fears, the farther bank secure and without fears, but there is neither a boat for crossing over, nor a bridge across. It occurs to him that to cross from the perils of this bank to the security of the further bank, he should fashion a raft out of sticks and branches and depending of the raft, cross over to safety. When he has don this it occurs to him that the raft has been very useful and he wonders if he ought to take it with him on his head or shoulders. What do you think? That the man is doing what should be done to the raft?

"When he has crossed over to the beyond he must leave the raft and proceed on his journey. [A] man doing this would be doing what should be done to the raft. [T]he raft [is] for getting across, not for retaining."

Adapted from the Majihima Nikaya, translated by Christmas Humphreys.

Religion is a tool. Religion can be a useful tool, even a necessary one.
A tool serves its purpose, accomplishes its task and then must be either left behind for another to use, or simply abandoned and discarded.

Like a raft built to cross to the other side of a river. Once the other shore is reached, dragging the raft behind you through the trees, brambles, and thickets only holds you back. It is falling victim to the disease of Religiosity.

Our purpose was never to build, protect, guard, or worship the raft. Our purpose is the journey. We should never be raft-centric.

The Three Lotuses

The three Jewels of Buddhism are 1) the Buddha, 2) Dharma, and 3) Sangha.

I don't believe this concept belongs exclusively to the religion of Buddhism. I believe Buddhism only expresses it through its own particular paradigm. In fact, I think these 3 treasures - these three jewels - are universal truths. I see these as three Lotuses.

“Nirvana shares one quality with the lotus. As the lotus is untainted by water, so is Nirvana unstained by all the defilements”.

The first jewel – the Buddha – does not necessarily have to mean Siddhartha Gautama himself, but, in all likelihood, might refer to the awakened nature of all beings.  I see this as extremely similar to the martial art's Taekwon-do's tenet Guk-gi (Self-Control). (And Solace is a fruit of Guk-gi).

The second Jewel, Dharma, is the teaching, but let's not take this too literally. This doesn't have to mean Buddhism's teaching(s). We shouldn't become frightened that to accept this Dharma means a path away from whatever belief or religion we currently belong to. No, I think this treasure - this universal truth - is simply being open to learning. I take Dharma as taking and accepting truth whenever and wherever we find it. (In fact, this might very well fly in the face of propositional truth [fundamentalism?]). I see this Dharma as akin to what is borrowed from the Chinese -do, or Dao, or possibly Tao, meaning the way or path or route to something, and that something is the fundamental nature of the universe.

The Sangha in Buddhism generally refers to the Buddhist's community itself. But the further we take this concept the larger one's Sangha becomes. On its largest level we are faced with the global community as our own, and I think this is a perfect place for us to reflect on the underlying concept of Compassion. I think it is important not to mistaken, or force a necessary interpretation, of this Sangha as meaning a specific and exclusive religious body of followers. I take this Sangha concept as being boundless and without boarders.

I believe the most valued truth that we can discover is that of Solace and Compassion.
And Solace and Compassion are entangled by Dharma.
These are what I call the Three Lotuses.

Solace, Compassion, and Dharma

That's one of the reasons I have three lotuses tattooed on my arm. It is one symbolism it holds to me. But not the only one.

The third lotus has a skull within its heart. It reminds me of impermanence; of both mortality and immortality. As I myself am mortal, I know of my own impermanence, of my own mortality. Yet the other two lotuses represent my children, and through them I have achieved immortality.

The final significance is the only method I have discovered to overcome Lust. (See A Practical Guide for the Spiritual Sojourner: A Cure for Lust).

The Hidden Faces of Fundamentalism

We have two people in a car involved in a discussion about the nature of the car's occupants.The first says, "There are only two categories of people in this car.Me, and not-Me".
The second occupant isn't impressed by this sort of categorization and disagrees. The second occupant sees the catogories in terms of Him and not-Him, much to the first person's dismay.
Both argue that they are dealing with cold, hard facts and therefore won't back-down because they hold the truth and are unarguably in the right!

I believe this is how most Westerners think and function; in dichotomies. This is a Western-paradigm; a Dichotomy-paradigm.

Both arguing occupants in the car have missed several facts.
First, that the truths they cling to, are only 'facts' from a certain point of view and are conditional truths at best.

(A person believes the sky is blue. It is an obvious fact - don't be silly! Just look up! It is not a conditional truth and certainly not true only from a certain point of view. Fact. Plain and simple. Right?

A second person (who only goes out at night) believes the sky is black. This - clearly - is a fact. It isn't a conditional truth, now is it?
Only through a non-dichotomy-paradigm can these two conditional truths be reconciled and a larger truth be discovered - the fact of night and day.
...but interestingly enough, this fact, this truth of night-and-day, is itself only valid from a certain point of view. It is only true under certain conditions.

Day and Night are in themselves only an illusion; a man-made construct. Just take a step off the planet. They no longer exist. It's no different than the two people in the car arguing about is it "Me and not-Me" or "Him and not-Him").

Secondly, they miss the point that they are actually agreeing with one another in the sense that they both agree that there are two occupants in the car. They just can't (won't?) agree on how to catergorize them.

A Harmonious-Dichotomy-paradigm can accept both seemingly contradictory facts as true. No, not contradictory, but harmonious facts.

What are the nature of the car occupants?
a) Me and not-Me?
b) Him and not-Him?
Answer: Yes.

The Japanese have an expression - a single work really - Mu. Unask the question. The error is not within one's answer, but within the question being asked itself.

Another simple example is that of theft. Stealing is against the law almost everywhere (Let's leave well enough alone that the Law does not define what is and isn't Truth). Even people who may frquently steal will most definitely not accept being stolen from.
There is an unaccounted for illusion here; the assumption and understanding of ownership. The truth in this example supersedes the question.

"Stealing implies ownership". V from V is for Vendetta

Is stealing wrong? Is theft a simple black and white issue?
When you pose the question of whether stealing is an absolute, you are asking the wrong question. Is ownership absolute? What is ownership? How exactly do we define ownership? What can I claim that I truly own? If I have paid for something, if I've bought something, does that mean I own it? How does that apply to slavery?

Let us jump to another example.
I have my thoughts and opinions and beliefs as to how the universe came into being, but I don't need to be right. Ultimately, we will never know this one truth. It is nothing but an opinion and a belief. (Does might make right?)

One core tenet of Buddhism is that when we attempt to force our beliefs into facts, this is the genesis of human suffering. This truth supersedes any other.
Creationism or Secular-Atheistic Evolution?

Mu. (You're asking the wrong question).

The Western Dichotomy-Paradigm deals with truth often exclusively in terms of knowledge only. The need for truth in certain circumstances is irrelevant and unnessary, especially once we introduce Wisdom (and remember, Wisdom cares).

In our first example, the fact is that there are two people in a car.
In our second example, the fact is our planet spins on its axis and revolves around the sun.
But facts aren't truth. We interpret these facts into our subjective truths.

I think an important issue is our methodologies in pursuing truths rather than actual facts and/or truths we discover. I think it is vitally important how we come to the truths we claim to hold rather than what our end results are. It is important to be aware of the illusions we cling to.

And for those who insist on clinging to their fundamental illusions - ultimately their 'facts', their 'truths' and their inflexible beliefs, will lead to conflict and an obstacle to peace.

Review of "Clean Water for Elirose", by Ariah Finz

What I loved so much about this children's book was that it didn't just speak of ideas (and educate through its teachings), but that it offered a very real way for children - who are often times very aware and interested in problems of the world - a direction to actually do something about it.

Two lessons struck me the most. (And I hope, as an adult, I'm not missing its point)
The first was to make children aware of things we take for granted. Like Maria first starts off by saying, "Do you like it if your drink is dirty and yucky? Me neither", only later to be introducted to Elirose who,  "Has to walk a long way every day to get water for her family. And the water isn't even clean, it's yucky and dirty."

The second are some very practical activities children can do to raise money to help, but more importantly, to learn that they have the ability within their own hands, to change to world. They aren't helpless.

The book ends with questions for discussion along with ideas and activities to participate in!

What a beautifully simple yet profound book.
I plan to have my children read it and hear their take on it.





Disclaimer: I received this book free from SpeakEasy Blog Network. Providing me a free copy in no way guarantees a favorable review. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.

XXX-mas: Porn for the Soul

I can remember my dad saying every Christmas time how he was upset that the commercial industry would abbreviate Christmas to Xmas. He thought it took the spirit out of it. I can remember thinking this same thing for years myself. It wasn't until I was in St. Pius X Catholic High School that I learned what the X in Xmas stood for. Khris-tos in Greek, meaning the anointed. I would have never guessed that the Greek letter “X” was often used as the abbreviation for the “Christ”, or the Messiah. It made sense after learning this, and I couldn't really fault my father for not reading Greek. I don't read it either; I guess few do. So, in this case, it wasn't so commercial.

Christmas is never the same until you have children of your own. Christmas this year will be the 16th year we, as a family with children, celebrate Christmas. But this year, like last year and the year before, I'm not looking forward to it at all.

I know why that is. Ultimately, I'm teaching my children the value of porn. Yes, that's right, porn, as in pornography. Not the culture of porn, and definitely not the imagery of porn, but the philosophy of it. The philosophy of porn teaches us the quick fix. It teaches us near instant gratification. It offers us something we all legitimately desire and crave, and hope and long for. But offers something shallow and hollow in its place. I like what society thinks porn should be. It's supposed to be fun and exciting, and alive and pleasurable. It supposed to simply be sexuality. Sexuality is a normal aspect of being human and we enjoy it within our relationships – it is supposed to be harmless. No one really gets hurt. But why does porn leave me empty? What's missing? Porn is really a bait-and-switch sales tactic, isn't it? Porn's selling you one thing, but delivering you something else.

One kind of Christmas teaches our children and us materialism. And the fat ol' jolly elf named Santa Claus – who Coca-Cola Ltd. played a big hand in creating and establishing – only adds to this frenzy. But, I say to myself, that's only one kind of Xmas – that is only the secular, commercial driven materialistic kind of Xmas. This kind of Xmas is so akin to porn that I have to start teaching my children otherwise!

Another kind of Xmas is attempting to connect with the religious facet of it. "The real meaning of Xmas", as some say. "Jesus: He's the reason for the season", and cute catchphrases like that. Of course it's all true, but sometimes it sounds like a formulated marketing scheme, and I'm beginning to wonder if it really is.

So how do you connect with a spiritual part of it? I guess you go to church. We attend church. We sit and watch the spectacle and entertaining shows and hope to have our emptiness filled. Like porn, a different aspect of society (Christianity) tells us what Xmas should be like. Like porn, we're still searching for gratification - not physical pleasure, but spiritual gratification. Attending church, especially at Xmas, is supposed to be exciting and alive! It's supposed to be a celebration of our liberty and salvation! Not only is it supposed to be harmless, but's supposed to be just the opposite! We're expecting - somehow - to be healed, to be made full and whole again. This kind of Xmas is still nothing more than the bait-and-switch sales tactic. This kind of Xmas is selling you one thing, but delivering you something else.

I can't speak for anybody but myself, but Xmas celebration in church leaves me feeling empty. Maybe because Xmas - and I mean the religious aspect of it - has really become XXXmas. The religious Christmas today has become, for many people, porn for the soul. They're showing up looking for their "fix". They're searching for the quick fix - whatever that may be. They're looking for the permanent "feel-good" pleasure of the spirit, but are left with something that very quicly fades, and often times leaves feelings of guilt.

The true meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with church. And it doesn't have to do with giving to the poor. Giving to the poor is about charity, not about Christmas day. If you honestly believe Chrimstas is about giving to the poor, then you're trying to fulfill some sort of checklist the easy way. And I know this is a cliche, but Christmas is about giving. But it's not about giving gifts and presents. It's not about volunteering at the soup-kitchen once a year and serving the poor. It's about giving ourselves, our time, our relationship, our friendship. And not for just one season of the year! Strangers make the worst people to give these gifts to, because it makes these strangers little more than "projects" or receptive object of our "obligatory" dues. These "gifts" do not come from the heart, they come from some sort of installed sense of obligation. We are attempting to appease our own sense of hollowness - our own sense of guilt. Because deep down inside, these people know how miserable, wretched, and empty they truly are. Deep down inside they know that no one single day has that kind of magic to cure what ails them. They are fallen and they damned well know it. To hope and search for this kind magical cure at XXXmas is looking for love in porn. We will never succeed.

I cannot find the meaning of Christmas in the materialism of this commerical "Holiday Season".

I cannot find the meaning of Christmas in the pews of churches and in the holy quest of porn for the soul.

The meaning of Christmas must lie beyond the churches and beyond the shopping malls. There must be another kind of Christmas.


(Notice: This is a significantly older piece, rewritten from 2006 and reposted. Some of you may be familiar with it).

A Practical Guide for the Spiritual Sojourner: Hook-Line-and-Sinker, or Through-the-Looking-Glass?

Old Highway 17

I have a vague memory of the first time I encountered God. I shouldn't say “God” for at that time in my life I held absolutely no concept of the divine.

“God's” a funny word. We should really be careful when we use that word. It means so many things to so many people. To a child it's an old man with white hair and beard sitting on a cloud. To some it's an impersonal entity or force running or guiding the universe. To others it's a universal-mind itself. To many God has been imbued with a personality - “personhood”. I suppose this is necessary for our very finite minds to wrap themselves around a very infinite being – the Being. The problem with this is that we also tend to pass on all too human traits. Jealousy, anger, Tribalism, Nationalism, Hatred, let alone using God as a tool to further our own agendas and ends.

Allow me to just say that I can remember the first time I encountered something other.

My mom and dad and I were on a car ride. It was long before my sister was born – during that long chapter in my life as the only child.

I can remember that I had absolutely no sense of time-reference. Not days of the week, not actual dates (numbers), not even larger time-frames, like Grade-1, or Grade-2. It must have been pre-kindergarten so I'll put myself as being under 4 years old; probably 3.

I can remember the car traveling what felt like west-bound (not from my childhood memory, but from how I remember it as an adult), but towards to main-city of Ottawa with a body of water (river?) on my right and rocky fields to my left. (For any locals, I figure it was Old Highway 17 between Ottawa and Wendover).

We stopped at what I can only remember as a sort of rocky quarry. I can't remember any machinery or equipment so it probably was more of a outcrop of rocks than a quarry proper, but there was definitely what appeared to be a sharp (cut stone) wall behind, with a litter of stones and rocks everywhere.

I remember my goal was to find and collect rocks! (Not any sort of special rocks. Just rocks!) It felt like I must have been miles away from where my parents were. I was busy 'exploring', but in all likelihood, I'm sure I wasn't far from them.

And then, suddenly, I became aware of a presence. Like someone or something accompanying me. Friendly, warm, caring. I never questioned whether it might have been my imagination or not, I think I was simply too young. But that memory has always stuck with me.

Ultimately, it was the genesis of my searching out God.

However, simple and powerful that one 'encounter' with the unknown was, it wasn't my any means the only one.

I have had several paradigm-shattering encounters and experiences in my life. This earliest one in the quarry was the first. Then there was my dream of The Storm in '83. My mother's death in '87. My precognitive dreams the led to my wife and marriage in '90; the end of a 10-year exile from God in '97. The birth of my autistic son and an experience 20 years later at my mother's grave.

All of these experiences have feed this quest and journey and search.

~

Allow me to switch gears – change topics. I think I might go at this from a different perspective.

I have never been one for institutional religions and I know by some people, I have been accused of taking the easy path; the path of least resistance.

I have been told by some that being an adherent to a particular church or temple (or religion or even community) requires a commitment not unlike a relationship, or even a marriage. By these same people I have also been told that I fail to make this sort of commitment. I should actually be insulted (most specifically because of the comment to failing to commit to a community) because – really – what I am being accused of is a lack of loyalty, and loyalty is something I do not lack.

I have recently reflected upon, not so much my experiences themselves, but upon my attempts to search out the truth behind them, and what I discovered.

Often times, I so wanted the truth to be enlightening, to lift all worry and anxiety and give me an overwhelming sense of peace, that I would be more than willing to suspend my disbelieve, to suspend my cold analytical eye. And sometimes, briefly, it would work.

As my searching brought me into more and more contact with more and more people and others' experiences my understanding of God, my belief of God, grew and changed. Ideas and images that I struggled with died and newer, better ones came into existence. Certain problems with the idea of God ceased to be issues once viewed from a different point of view. Spiritual maturity? Possibly.

I have often wondered whether I subject myself to believing something hook-line-and-sinker. (Because when I think back to numerous experiences and involvements with various groups it's kind of embarrassing. My, how I've changed). Am I just lost soul, floating from one to another faith, desperately embracing everything or anything like a drowning man clings to anything thrown to him? Maybe my naysayers are right.

I came to realize something that I eventually called -ologies.

You know, as in Archeology. Biology. The science of, or the study of any said topic.

However, it was with Theology that this method fell apart in my opinion.

As a biologist studying a paramecium under a microscope this same analogy absolutely could not work – or at least would fail miserably – in the realm of theology.


You could not objectively observe and study God from a distance. (And on a side note, I think that is what's wrong with so many churches, religions, and theologists today).

In this particular “science” you must go through the looking glass. The biologist would need to use his microscope as a slide to sit side-by-side with the paramecium he is studying (and hope it doesn't mistaken him as a food source!)

You cannot 'study' God. You experience it. The act of “studying” God is to change you. It doesn't work any other way. Or so I thought.

I don't think I take the path of least resistance. In fact, I've come to the conclusion that 'how' I pursue my searching for this encounter I had as a 3-year old puts me in danger.

I think what I 'do' is not so much like a lost soul adrift, nor like a drowning man desperately clinging to absolutely anything thrown to him, but more honest and more akin to traveling through the looking glass. Putting myself 'out-there' and allowing myself to be affected and changed by my encounters. Not objective and distant.

But the more and more I've practiced this, the more and more I realized that it wasn't God that I was encountering and experiencing, but people. It was people's hopes and dreams and ideas, and projections that shaped what we hope God is. (And even what God isn't in the case of Atheists).

Broken China

I've realized that I am a potter.

I've spend most of my life inadvertently making theological pottery. Beautiful China if you will.

I've also realized that God has spend most of his life breaking it.

So, my question is really, do I, as a spiritual sojourner, indiscriminately swallow numerous 'truths' hook-line-and-sinker, or do I practice going-through-the-looking-glass? I have found precious few brave enough to travel down this path. Allowing oneself to be changed is a scary thing.

Path of least resistance? I think not.

Masks

What is an identity? Is it your name?

Well, I own my names and they are not my identity, most especially if you have gone through more than one.

I think identity and one's name are two very different creatures; one being a sort of manifestation – a reflection if you will – of the other. But for the time being I am going to use 'name' and 'identity' as synonymous and interchangeable.

You wear your name; you wear your identity like a mask. I have found that once they're removed, we can never see them for anything other than exactly what they are: masks.

It doesn't change the fact that we still wear them, but it does change our level of awareness. We will no longer mistaken the perceptions and ideas we project to others – we will no longer accept the labels placed upon us by another – the masks we wear – as ourselves. It is simply self-delusion.

It is terrifying and exhilarating and enlightening once we see beneath our masks. It becomes extremely difficult to name the thing we see below the surface.


It becomes difficult to even clearly see any distinctive outline of the being beneath.
 
Where I end and my wife of 23 years begins - half my entire life - all of my adult life! - becomes blurred. Where my existence is seen as an extension of my children and my existence as an individual can only be expressed through an analogy of a manifestation of identity.


Where my long since dead mother – little more than a dead thing in the ground, dust and bones, continues to exist and live through me, even now influencing me as I speak and write. I am equally a product of the traditions (or lack of traditions) and environment and culture they had brought me up in as I am a product of their specific DNA. I am an indistinct part of a continuum, a living aspect of a century-spanning life form we call humanity; a tiny member of a great gestalt. Individuality is the illusion.
 
In July, 2008 I had to opportunity to spend a few days and nights out on the moors, in the Yorkshire Dales.
 

I haven't included many pictures because they simply do not do the beautiful and desolate landscape justice.


My days and nights of the lonely moors has served as a sort of private and personal spiritual retreat, giving me time to collect my thoughts, regroup, and reflect over this recent identity 'crisis'...
 

On the moors I was surprised at all the wildlife I saw. Giant black slugs the size of my thumb, all racing towards a local congregation for purposes I can only imagine.


Multitudes of brown bunnies, perfectly camouflaged and hidden, visible only when they moved; and when they moved they would run and race, each triggering and affecting another. Pheasants and quail, fowls I could not identity, all going about their daily business. Sheep and rams looking for little more than new grasses to eat. Single individual lone trees standing on cloud-shrouded hilltops, silent witnesses and sentinels of decades.
 

All this life and activity thriving and existing interdependently and outside of my consciousness and awareness. How truly alien I must seem to them. How truly arrogant I must be in my ignorance to their lives. They exist and live and eat and reproduce and die independent of whether I acknowledge them or not – regardless of whether I believe or not.
The rains that fell on me; the constant moisture and dampness in the ground; the clouds that would pass and literally kiss the hilltops and engulf me, blocking out all vision. The water I would drink and even the very water that would compose my physical being... all the same... all one.

As alien as I was, I was still part of this unseen world. The giant black slugs, the brown bunnies, the Pheasants and quails, the sheep and ram, the lonely trees and the water that surrounded and permeated us all. We're all composed of the exact same material. Stardust. Fully recyclable. Fully interchangeable. Fully interrelated.

After the masks that I wear were removed, I could no longer find individual identity in my being – seeing myself as only an “inter-being”.

I can no longer find individual identity in my physical body, being made of the simple raw material we all share; interconnected.

How truly arrogant of me to have entertained the idea that I might have a unique spiritual identity. Why must I think that the bunnies dash and run randomly and without guidance or purpose; victims of chaos? Why must I believe God is not present in the giant black slugs' morning routine of gathering at a certain given plant?

As desolate and lonely as the moors were, there was also an awareness of something pure and holy. Something truly beautiful. It was a place where God walked barefoot. It was a hidden place where God walked naked of our assumed projections. Unclothed in our pretentious theological knowledge. A place where God's only answer to one's questions and mental meanderings was simply and repeatedly ”I am”.

As I returned to the cobblestone and concrete wilderness of civilized towns, I realized that this very same God live and walks barefoot, naked, and unclothed. He/She/It is just more difficult to see because of the masks we wear. They obstruct our vision somewhat, but they don't need to.

On the first morning of my return from the moors I walked through a town. I saw faces and people I do not know, speaking in an accent and dialect that was not my own, living lives I could only imagine.

At first I felt out of place; alien. They would look at me. They didn't know me. I was a stranger but in a far more profound way. They couldn't recognize or understand me for what I was because I wore no mask. Etched on each one of their faces was evidence of their mental meanderings. Imprinted on their expressions was one question: ”Who are you?”

I realized the truest answer was that barefoot-naked-unclothed-God's answer: "I am".

I also realized that I had to replace my mask. I realize that we cannot function as a civilization or a society without a sense of individuality; without some degree of illusion; without our masks.. But I hope we can all realize that our masks are not us. I hope we all can begin to see the seems around the edges of our faces, the edges of our identities – the awareness of our masks.

I hope we can also begin to realize that we dress and put masks on God. Whether it be through projections of what our traditional upbringings have taught us, or what our hopes and aspirations are, or stoically through our acquired theological knowledge, or even through pure pretension.

“...an old Zen caution: “Don't mistake the finger for the moon.” Buddhism, Zen, Christianity, Islam, Taoism, Judaism, Confucianism, and so on are all useful fingers. Teachings that point the way to fully actualizing ourselves and benefiting others are pointers, but not the end itself. All religious teachings are about what is, but if we focus on the teachings as objects we miss the point.” Dairyu Michael Wenger, Soto Zen priest and Dean of Buddhism Studies at the San Francisco Zen Center, San Francisco, California

A Practical Guide for the Spiritual Sojourner: A Cure for Lust

What do we look to religion for?
Why do we seek it out?

To some, I’m sure, it's in search of the truth. But I've learned 'religious truth' is an ambiguous, fickle, and tricky thing at the best of times, with a tendency to become more subjective and righteous than anything else. (And I would include Atheism within this umbrella, 'religious' definition). To some (I hope a minority) this subjective truth and righteousness, unfortunately, is exactly what they seek.

I should like to believe that we look to Spirituality in hopes of learning and better understanding Compassion towards others and Solace for ourselves. To find peace with the world around us and be at peace with ourselves.

Solace. Although in times past I am sure I would not have been able to successfully articulate it, it was what I've spend decades seeking and searching for.

I have written on how Christianity has failed me, but maybe it was I who have failed Christianity's test. Maybe I have never been baptized by Fire, by the Holy Spirit. Maybe it is I who has never successfully been born again. Baptized through Catholicism but never Confirmed, maybe I truly am not a part of the Body, but apart from it. Maybe at one point in my life the cleansing fires of the Holy Spirit washed over me, measured me, and found me wanting... My point being this isn't about pointing the finger at Christianity but simply that it hasn't 'worked' for me.

I think the three darkest demons I have wrestled and struggled with have been Fear, Anger, and Lust.
Capital “F” Fear. Not so much being scared or afraid of something or someone, but Fear as in Worry, Anxiety, Dread. The kind of worry and fear that consumes your Perpetual Now and obliterates your tomorrow. The kind of fear that controls your ability to make decisions for yourself.

~

I've never been sure exactly how to label the second; Anger or Rage.
A distinction should be made between righteous anger – anger one feels at an injustice – vs. blind, out of control anger; rage. When rational thought evades you. When it is the anger, the rage that is calling the shots.

I am by no means pretentious and I have no intention to give the false impression that I have successfully and permanently purged them. There are still moments when I battle them. However, I have through my decades of searching, through various 'methodologies' and 'religions' and spiritual paths and avenues found control, peace, and solace. Primarily through – believe it or not – martial arts. (Taekwon-do to be exact. I've written a blog on it. Tattoo: Solace in Pain. And don't kid yourself into believing that a martial art is all about combat and fighting an opponent).

~

...but Lust is another demon. When I say Lust I am referring to Lust of the sexual kind. (Truth be know, I have never really suffered from coveting material goods and 'stuff').
The church, Catholicism, Christianity, and Christ have in every method and way failed to offer succor. The closest I've come was the realization – or maybe it's better and more accurate for me to say, acceptance, of God, as the Holy Spirit, as most definitely female. “God the Mother”. Sophia. The divine feminine Catholicism sees in the Virgin Mary (not Mariolatry).

Just use your innate ability of Imagination (as opposed to 'make-believe') and pray and confess to a female God. It is a drastically different and refreshing experience.

But even this only succeeded temporarily to suppress Lust, not battle it.

It was only recently, through a serious of coincidences, that I came across a simple Buddhist mediation. A simply Buddhist method of combating Lust that has knocked it flat on its ass. (Not, this isn't a story about religious conversion or proselytism. I'd have to definitely be something first to convert to another, wouldn't I?)

It begins by sitting cross legged, preferably on a pillow or something soft. Then, remove “counterproductive currents of energy” or “airs” or “winds”, through 9 inhalations and exhalations.

(I know this part might sound a little bit silly, but bear with me).

First, inhale deeply through your right nostril by pressing the left nostril closed with your left thumb; then release the left nostril and press your right nostril closed with your left middle finger, exhaling through the left nostril. Do this three times.
After that, inhale deeply through the left nostril by continuing to press the right nostril closed with your left middle finger; then release the right nostril and press your left nostril closed with your left thumb, exhaling through the right nostril. Do this three times.
Finally place your left hand back on your lap beneath your right hand, both palms up with your thumbs touching, forming a triangle. Then inhale deeply through both nostrils and exhale through both nostrils. Do this three times.

Then I conjure an image of a Lustful object of desire. But now, meditate and contemplate on their body, from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. Skin, flesh, blood, bone, marrow, urine, feces, etc. Focus on her hair, but her removed hair, like clumps you might find on a hair salon's floor or in a bathtub's drain. Finger and toe nail clippings. (This isn't for the faint of heart). Then I focus on the body's decaying and decomposing. The soft subtle skin being quite literally stripped from the body through its disintegration. Its liquids spilling out. (I've even had moments when my mind meandered on its own and animated this corpse into some sort of zombie horror)
… and I think you get the idea. Lust is the last thought on your mind. And no, I don't enjoy this, and yes, I find this exercise extremely disturbing.

I have since “streamlined” this method over time down to a single simple image. A tiny statue of a skull carved out of stone and I can summon this image into sharp focus in my mind's eye – usually – without going through the meditative process I previously described, if needs be. Its quicker that way; more practical and useful.

In fact, I use 3 images (3 tiny statues), one for each Fear, Anger, and Lust.

So far, so good. I can't complain.

I'd be interested in hearing how some of you deal with these issues – Fear, Anger, Lust – or whatever you may struggle with and successful methods.

But please, success stories only. I've heard my fair share of BS over the years, ranging from ”When I get lustful thoughts, I read my bible”, to ”I never suffer from fear or worry since I've been born again”.
… ya... okay.

I like to believe spirituality – like truth – is progressive and cumulative; it grows and evolves and expands. For those of us on this path, it makes us spiritual sojourners.

What's your story?

...nothing...

Mu... nothing... not.

Mu can mean 'nothing'. The absence of anything.

“I see nothing.” - Alice

“My you have good eyes.” - Cheshire Cat

Do you hear silence?

But even nothing must have great value.

It isn't the clay vase that is of importance, but it's center, it's hollow, it's nothingness, that makes it useful.

One of mankind's greatest inventions was the wheel, yet the wheel itself, its spokes, and even its hub isn't of most value, but the center hole that drives the wheel.

There is no hollow in the vase without making the vase, no center hole without making the spokes and hub that define it.

It is to remind us that there is always a passive and empty component that coexists with an active, coercing and shaping component. The two provide the means towards action and purpose.
Nurture and acting.

Action is often coercion and coercion often manifests as aggression. If we can separate aggression from action we are not left with emptiness but inactive action. Wu wei.

~         ~         ~

I've always loved bonzai trees. They are fantastic examples and manifestations of universal wisdom.
Although we can coerce and control and shape them (yang), ultimately they passively remain the same - a tree (yin). We must accept this because we cannot change it. It is it's nature. It lives and grows on its own. Some might argue that if we were to stop watering the tree it would die, but even death is within its nature as all things eventually die. It is inactive action. Wu wei.

~         ~         ~

Mu... not.
It may be used grammatically as a prefix. Not good. (Bad). Not day (Night).
But in Buddhism, Taoism, and Eastern religions, it can stand alone. Simply Not; an answer to a koan; an answer to unanswerable questions. Mu.
Unask the question. It indicates the question cannot be answered; that the question itself is at fault.

I have found it becomes a good philosophical method or tool, when addressing and struggling with the contradictions within theological conundrums – for I believe is in the contradictions and the paradoxes in which the divine wisdom – Sophia - is most challenging and speaks the loudest. It is not in the religions' commonalities that she speaks and challenged us to change and grow and learn but in their apparent conflicts. And to claim that there simply are not any conflicts or contradictions is nothing more than denial and suffering from an ostrich-syndrome.

~         ~         ~

I can't help but wonder if, in the center, the genesis point of all creation, there exists a Great Nothing. I think to attribute this as God – a Creator – is 'asking' the wrong question. It's looking at the situation from the wrong angle. For Creation itself, and even the act of creating itself, are controlling and coercive actions. Yang energy.

This central genesis point must be Yin energy. Non-coercive. Nurturing. Loving. Lacking aggression.

From a Theistic perspective, we really cannot have a God that is both omnipotent and omnibenevolent. We can, however, have a God that suffers from necessary, involuntary, and irreversible kenosis. Self-emptying.

... that is, of course, if we are forced to address this issue within a theistic context...

...but, like the banzai tree, what is the nature of this "divine" center; this divine Great Nothing?

What is the inactive action of this central nothingness?

What is God's wu wei?

Review of Seven Spirits Burning, by John Crowder

Allow me to begin by saying, many of the pitfalls and criticisms present in John Crowder's previous book – Mystical Union – are present in Seven Spirits Burning as well.

Poor editing and/or grammar, contradictions, use of 26 biblical translations (which, ultimately, must be better than the 48 used in Mystical Union). John Crowder tends to fall victim to speaking in Christianese; words and terms that only Christians or church-goes would readily identify and recognized, yet terms that are mostly ambiguous and undefined; possibly with intent to deliberately allow the reader to assume.

~            ~            ~

The book, primarily, is about the Holy Spirit. Early on Crowder begins by, what I can only assume to establishing that Holy Spirit (he tends not to use the term the Holy Spirit, but truncates it down to a proper noun - Holy Spirit) is indeed God and not some sort of impersonal force.

“Since Holy Spirit is a spirit being, we should understand that He has a personality and traits. He speaks (Tim. 4:1); He has a will (1 Cor. 12:11); He is knowledgeable (1 Cor. 2:11), He teaches (John 14:26); He has a mind (Rom. 8:27); He loves (Rom. 15:30); and He can also be grieved or insulted (Eph. 4:30; Heb. 10:29).

“Furthermore, He is eternal, omnipresent – existing everywhere – and He is omniscient – knows everything (1 Cor. 2:10, 11; Ps. 139:7-10). Scripture is clear that He was involved in the creation of the world, along with the Father and the Son. He brought life to mankind as He was exhaled by the Father”. pg. 14-15

If we are going to lay-out the 'properties' of the Holy Spirit – establish Holy Spirit's nature, if you will – then let's go all the way, shall we?

Let's list Proverbs 8:12-30 (which I think may be the reference Crowder is making in the final two quoted sentences). And if this is the case, let's address the fact that this Sophia - God's personified Wisdom – is female.


If we are to provide biblical quotes and support to establish that Holy Spirit is indeed omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, and has a personality and an individuality as Crowder so seems inclined to do, why not quote Wisdom of Solomon (or Book of Wisdom) 7:23 and 7:27? They are perfect examples.

Oh, but wait! I know why. Wisdom of Solomon is an apocryphal book, belonging to the Catholic Bible.
And here is what John Crowder has to say about that:

“When we count up all of the various almond parts of the lampstand – flowers, buds, blossoms, etc. - we find a total of sixty-six parts. Did you know that there are sixty six books in your Bible? This is an ancient confirmation of the canon of scripture”. pg. 44.

[So, Jeremiah 1:11-12 is to become the infallible bible's Table of Contents? The historical fact of the matter is that the 66 books were established by a Church Council. Whether or not this council was divinely inspired is up for debate].

“Never let anyone try to convince you that religious leaders suppressed other books of the Bible, or that apocryphal works hold the same weight of authority as the canon of scripture. Some apocryphal works are helpful, but they are not infallible...” pg. 45

But yet, shortly afterwards while attempting to convince the reader that the power – the Glory - of Holy Spirit will enrich and fill the believer to overflowing, he quotes Psalms 65:11.... four times over.

“...where thy feet have passed, the stream of plenty flows”. Psalms 65:11, KNOX
“You... deluge your tracks with butterfat”. Psalms 65:11, ARTB
“...your paths overflow with a rich harvest”. Psalms 65:11, NAB
“Thy footsteps are dropping with riches”. Psalms 65:11, DEW
pg. 54

All from various biblical translations/versions; including the Catholic NAB (New American Bible).


This quote from page 54 completely flabbergasted me!

I cannot say what stuck me more. That fact that he's willing to discredit the Catholic Bible (apocryphal books) but yet contented to quote from it when it suits his needs, or the fact that he's willing to quote the same verse four times over, to support a simple point he is attempting to make.

I can't help but think of Vladimir Lenin, Adolf Hitler, and Joseph Goebbels. What was that quote again?

”A lie repeated often enough becomes the truth”.

I am not necessarily accusing John Crowder of attempting to drive a blatant lie down our throats, but commenting of the methodology employed.
In short, Propaganda... and it is at this point that I feel John Crowder has crossed a line.
He strikes me as hypocritical and double-dealing.


It should be noted that out of the hundreds (thousands?) of books I have read over the decades, whether for review, theology, fiction, casual reading, or whatnot, I can honestly count on one hand, with fingers to spare, how many books I've chosen not to finish. John Crowder's Seven Spirits Burning is one of them. I am going to write and post this book review having not read past page 54.

I see no point.

What little degree of trust I held for the author is now gone.





Disclaimer: I received this book free from SpeakEasy Blog Network. Providing me a free copy in no way guarantees a favorable review. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.