Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Watcher, The Dreamer, the Other, and Myself

I have never been good at most sitting meditations, although I have practiced them for decades.

When sitting on the ground - whether in half-lotus, full-lotus, cross-legged, with a cushion or without - I will inevitably slump forward (bad for the breath) and eventually fall asleep. It's just the way it is.

When sitting on a chair (most commonly on the bus) I - once again - eventually fall asleep.

How I normally practice meditation is for 20-30 minutes in the early morning - before the family and household is awake. I practice sitting meditation using a seiza bench. I have never fallen asleep on my seiza bench to date.

Now, my commute to work is about a 40 minute bus ride. I don't know whether I'm just stubborn or a slow learner, but regardless of my past experiences I still attempt to meditate on the bus.... sitting... and I still end up falling asleep. However, this past week, I had a profoundly bizarre experience.

Last week, while 'meditating' on the bus - while still "sharp" and conscious within the confines of my head - I realized I not only fell asleep, but was beginning to dream. While fully cognizant, I watched myself dream.

I watched alongside the dull and groggy Dreamer what seemed like a unconnected jumble of images and half-understood stories. And oddly enough, some other part of my mind was acutely aware of where my bus was, because before my bus stop, I chose to awaken The Dreamer and depart the bus.

My question is, who is The Dreamer? Or maybe more importantly, who is The Watcher?

No comments: