The Dangers of Rom-Coms

I hate Romances.
Rom-Coms, Romantic Comedies, Chick-Flicks.

No, I don't hate Chick-Flicks for stereotypical “guy” reasons. I like love stories. (I cried when I read The Bridges of Madison County).

The reason why I hate Chick-Flicks is because they perpetuate and teach a lie. The collective underlying truth that is assumed is that every single solitary man has a natural and innate ability to be 'romantic'. It is only a matter either of getting in touch with it, or caring enough, or 'coming out of their shell', or getting over their shyness, or any number of possibilities their plots will permit.

Again, the underlying assumption is that all men can do romantic. This is perfectly fine in literature or in movies for purely entertainment value.

But that's not where it ends, does it? A sad fact of reality in our Western society today is that – unfortunately – we often are taught by movies.

What's wrong is when the real women, single or in relationships, go out into the real world with the belief that if a man, if their man, cannot be romantic then that must translate into meaning they simply do not really care. (Because, as we know from Rom-Coms and Chick-Flicks, every man innately can do 'romantic' if they truly love their woman enough).

What a facade. What a farce. What a lie. What damage... to both parties.

That's how relationships are damaged and broken. When we fall into the trap of believing in how things are supposed to be rather than how things actually are. We miss out the treasures right before us and fall in love with a fantasy that can only disappoint.

It is like the woman walking along a stony beach at night, fascinated and obsessed with the bright stars in the night sky. It is only when the beach ends and the sun rises does she realize that she has missed all the interesting and wondrous treasures the beach has laid out before her, and left with the fantasy of the stars which are no more than an unattainable memory.