Returning to the Torn Veil

What does returning to the Torn Veil look like?

Modern day Western religions all have 2 sacred cows in common.

Membership (or proselyting) and tithing. (It's ironic that Jesus – through the Torn Veil – attempted to break or do away with these things).

We face a few difficult challenges and obstacles here.

Firstly we (collectively) must admit that part of the human condition includes Spirituality. No, not necessarily Religion. (There's a difference). Atheism is a knee-jerk reaction (and rightfully so) to Religiosity, but never-the-less just as unhealthy as Religiosity.

Atheists too have their Spiritual aspects or facets, although many are unwilling to admit it, or will choose not to label it “Spiritual”.

This is the first challenge and obstacle. Collectively admitting that Spirituality is a Human Condition.

This 'knee-jerk reaction' is to what we understand religion to be; namely, Western Modern day religion with their 2 (primary) Sacred Cows.

What are its obsession with Membership and Tithing all about?

Well, look at it like this: You want people to either desire or need what you're selling in order to create a revenue-stream.

That's a business model. That's a good Business Model.

But it's a lousy Spiritual one.

Interestingly, if we look at some large Eastern religions, we see something very different. I'll could Buddhism and Taoism. (I won't use Hinduism because, although its population or numbers are very high, it's extremely concentrated in specific geographic locals).

Now, to be fair - especially for those naysayers and those who simply love to be right and refute others - if you want to throw stones at Buddhism and Taoism there is plenty of ammo. Both are very old religions. Taoism has really two facets. What I'll call Folk Taoism and Modern Taoism. Fold Taoism is where you'll see the stories of gods and Divine people and the like. Mythology to be sure. Same goes with Buddhism. What further complicates matters is that Taoism (for example) is not structured like Western Religions and often doesn't make sharp distinctions between these two aspects. My point being, if you want to throw stones, there's plenty to throw.

But, a few points worth noting are that these two religions do not focus on proselyting, evangelizing, or membership. They are not built upon the Business Model. There's build upon a Spiritual one. (I believe that in our Western worldview and values, we have left Capitalism run amok).

In fact, the Dalai Lama says to “Stay in your own religion and mediate”, not to convert to Buddhism. Not only is this not proselyting, it is its very opposite.

Taoism promotes simply finding truth. 

Because things in the world change, there is no reason to hold tightly on to any reaching or establishment that began tow or three thousand years ago. Only the helpful principles that were taught should be followed, because principles do not change. All good principles can merge together as one good unified principle that exists prior to any of the momentary teachings that were developed." Master Hua-Ching Ni

These are not about building Empire, the growth of membership, or the amassment of wealth.

Two other (lesson) sacred cows Modern Western Religion hold onto are Doctrine and Self-identity.

The 'big' Western Religions (among others) focus on self-identity. If you are a Christian, then you are a Christian. You must self-identity as such. As with Muslim, as with Jews.

Not so with the Eastern.

“Both Confucianism and Taoism complement each other, however incompatible they seem at first to be. The former places a man in his proper relation to his fellow men, the latter in proper relation to nature. A third philosophy, Buddhism, though introduced from India, deals with the problem of human suffering and with man's ultimate destiny. These three inheritances... have moulded the thinking not only of the Chinese people but of all Eastern Asian. There is truth, then, in the common saying that every Chinese wears a Confucian cap, a Taoist robe, and Buddhist sandals.” Arthur W. Hummel, Former Head, Division of Orientalia Library of Congress, Washington, D.C., 1962, Forward to the Tao Teh Ching.

There isn't this obsession with self-identity as there is in the West.

(Ask yourself, could a Westerner readily claim to hold Christian, Muslim, Jewish values; a sort of Freelance Monotheist? Well, few do, but they aren't openly accepted. They're always accused of sitting on the fence).

The secondary minor Sacred Cow Modern Western Religion holds onto is that of Doctrine.

Although Doctrine is often held to be the glue that maintains truth, order, tradition, and structure, it sadly is not the case. It also includes inflexibility, stagnate growth, control, and simply being right; defending one's position at the expense of the truth.

“Doctrine” begins in a position of having a truth and then defending it, rather than legitimately discovering and exploring the truth.

One starts at the end hypothesis and moves to defend it, while the other begins without the hypothesis and move to discover and explore it.

There's a drastic difference between these two actions. 

The "Doctrine-paradigm" sees truth backwards. It doesn't really allow for its exploration. 

The Buddha provided examples and a framework to test his teachings. Nothing was expected to be taken at face-value or carte-blanche. 

Taoism holds onto what I call Zero-Doctrine. Again, a focus on mental flexibility. 

My point in all this isn't to sell Eastern Religions, but to provide a contrast. A measuring stick to hold up against Modern Western Religions. A mirror of sorts.

What does exploring The Torn Veil really look like? I think we need to begin by looking far to the East.

Zero-Doctrine

Contrary to what many claim, Doctrine is not about truth, structure and order. It is about control and being right.
For those of you that know me, know that I am not a fan of Doctrine. I absolutely do not subscribe to Doctrine. But neither do I hold to chaos or anarchy. I hold value in traditions, structure and order.
Many believe you cannot hold on to tradition, structure or order without Doctrine.
You most certainly can.

I hold onto the concept of Zero-Doctrine.
The general meaning of the word zero is "nothing", so from the words "zero doctrine" you might think it means no doctrine, as in a lack of doctrine or discipline. (That is close to some Taoist teaching of the Tao, because it doesn't focus on any point of view).

Zero-Doctrine is neutral, like zero, being neither a positive nor a negative. It doesn't hold any particular point of view or worldview. It doesn't carry any prejudice. It rejects extremes.

However, if we continue along this path of understanding, we could mistakenly believe there is nothing to Zero-Doctrine; and that couldn't be further from the truth.

Ultimately, the truth is something that cannot be defined by words.

What is definable is an individual's point of view, culture, (subculture), worldview, temperament, quality of mind, education level, and emotions. All these things came together to create that individual's understanding of truth. But that's still not the truth; only an expression of it.

If you are going to define the truth, your definition does not define the truth.
Pause for a moment, reread the sentence and think about it.... It defines your point of view of the truth.

"Because things in the world change, there is no reason to hold tightly on to any reaching or establishment that began tow or three thousand years ago. Only the helpful principles that were taught should be followed, because principles do not change. All good principles can merge together as one good unified principle that exists prior to any of the momentary teachings that were developed." Master Hua-Ching Ni, Entering the Tao, pg 9

Subscribing to Doctrine - like subscribing or following most religions - is like a bus that says it'll take you to this awesome summer camp! But in reality, what it ultimately does it deliver you to a concentration camp. You need to choose where to exit this bus before it arrives at its destination.

Integral truth is not uniting all religions.
It is doing away with all religions.
It is the end of religion.

What is Zero-Doctrine?

In a school classroom there is a blackboard.
When something is taught, often the teacher will draw pictures or a diagram on the blackboard to help the students better understand... but once the blackboard is full, what does the teacher do? She wipes it clean and makes ready for the next lesson. The board - or whatever's on it - is not the truth.

The is Zero-Doctrine.

It is the empty balance point at which a clear decision can be made.
Zero-Doctrine is to return to the point of clarity and keep your mind flexible.
If you have already placed a doctrine in your mind (most religions and definitely religiosity), it means your flexibility of mind is already lost.
You are fixed (and fixated!) to that doctrine at the expense of progress and growth. That is where a person's spirit dies.

If you have Clear Mind - flexible mind - you can develop your mind, renew you mind, find a solution, or a new replacement idea... and even upgrade and interchange Doctrine(s).

The Face of Mindfulness; The Watcher

In several earlier posts I had mentioned - either directly (The Watcher, The Dreamer, The Other, and Myself, Our Own Worst Critics) or indirectly (Tidal Pool, Mindfulness, Personal Mara) - an elusive and mysterious persona that I have experienced named The Watcher.

Having not given it much thought, its nature was recently questioned on a discussion forum, and I'm glad it was. It is something that needed to be unpackaged and better explored.

Although I could clearly recognized The Watcher when it was in ascendance, I realized I knew very little about it.

The one thing that I do know of The Watcher is that it sees clearly. It is most lucid.
Of course everything that I see and experience is through the filter or lens that is me, I don't think The Watcher suffers from delusions.

Ultimately The Watcher isn't a separate entity, or distinctly different aspect or facet. I think it is that rare state when I perfectly slip into Mindfulness.
Yes. That's a better way of viewing it. It shouldn't be personified. It's just a state of mind.

Although it manifests itself in my consciousness as a different persona, I think I personify it simply because of the alien-ness of it.

It is only a state of mind. I think, in my practice of mindfulness meditation, it is actually having 'achieved' or 'reached' that state. (I hate to use these words because it sounds as if there's a goal to reach). On hindsight now, I don't suppose it is what I expected. Maybe I was expecting or 'looking' for something else. Maybe that's why I missed it; didn't pick up on it; didn't readily identify it.

It is entering that state of Mindfulness. No, it is Mindfulness. That is The Watcher. I don't think I've recognized it as such before.

Because The Watcher doesn't judge, it doesn't see a given situation as good, or bad, or as anything at all for that matter.
Once in that state that is The Watcher, I don't believe I can suffer.

The Watcher is part of me that I often cannot connect with. It is evasive and those rare times when it is in ascendance are my only experiences with it.

It simply - and in the simplest of ways - observes. It does not analyze or interpret. It does not assess or judge. It does not see a situation as good or bad; benevolent or malevolent.

Because of that, I worry that it is incapable of compassion; and by implication, I might be incapable of compassion.

On a side note, I must make careful distinction between Pity and Compassion. Pity feels sympathy for another's plight and pain and suffering. Compassion does something about it.

Generally Pity avoids Suffering (even another's), fearing that it is somehow contagious. Compassion understands that Suffering is a choice -whereas Pain is inevitable - and holds no fear to take action.

Therefore, Pity is passive where Compassion is active.
The Watcher, by its very nature and non-judgmental state, cannot have or express compassion.

I have never experienced The Watcher taking action (although as I said earlier, I don't have a lot of experience with it).

Once I'd realized that The Watcher was a state of mindfulness rather than a distinct persona, then my concern over its lack of compassion was relieved. Other 'states' or facets of me are capable of potential growth of compassion where The Watcher is not.

Of the three features of The Dharma Entanglement, what The Watcher brings to the table is that of Dharma. (But this Dharma cannot be taken in its traditional sense. See Dharma-Ocean).

I have learned that on those rare occasions, for for ever so brief periods of time, that I have 'attained' a state of perfect Mindfulness.

Now I know it's possible to move towards that direction, however far away it may now be.

Personal Mara

Between the end of Oct. 2010 and early December 2010 I got my latest tattoo.
It was a 25 hour ordeal (two 9 hour sittings, a 5 hour sitting, and a final 2 hour 'touch-up' sitting).
All of my tattoos have deep and significant spiritual meanings and this large piece is no different. However, it was not a simple and easy tale to tell. After been asked by numerous people (especially those not local) I wrote and posted a blog. Primarily it tells of an ongoing battle against worry, anxiety, and Fear itself. (For those of you interested you can read it at Tattoo:Solace in Pain 

It was very shortly after writing and posting this that I had this dream... although I'm not overly sure I could call it a dream. I wasn't really asleep, but in a very deep state of meditation...

I'm somewhat hesitant to share this one because there are SO MANY significant symbolisms (to me) that have developed over those 20 plus years; so many other dreams; so many fears and trials, I fear the full weight of this dream might be lost.

~ ~

I watch this dream from some sort of third party, disconnected, disembodied perspective.
Everything was so detailed, so real. It was (quite literally) like watching a movie in HD, 3-D, Technicolor.

From an aerial point of view I watch what I can only imagine was some sort of pilgrim walking.
He wore only a pair of white pants. No top, bare chested, and bare foot. He carried nothing with him. The only other article he possessed (or wore) was some sort of brown – or possibly red – sash around his waist. Possibly made of silk. The colour was difficult to determine because of an odd thick mist that swirled and danced about the landscape; dulling all colours; seemingly sucking the life out them.

He walked alone upon a built up path or road. This road stood about 2 to 3 feet above the grassy plains through which he traveled. The path entered – and continued to pass through – a large hedge-enclosed area. My guess was slightly smaller than a football field.

The sky was overcast and obscured due to this fog. The thick mist moved with an ever so light breeze. And on those rare occasions when this breeze became slightly stronger, the mist would take on the appearance of a hard wind driven blizzard-like snow... and then return to its twisting quiet mist... but some some strange reason it was never cold. Never cold like the hard tiny snow it appeared as.

As this pilgrim walked, my camera-angle (you will have to forgive me here because so movie-like in quality was this dream I am forced to describe it in likewise terms) rotated around him, and as I passed before him I saw his face, and it was me. And as the angle of view returned to his back, he stopped, and I saw what he saw.

I lone figure wading its way through the lowlands of the fields through the mist. Details were nearly impossible to descry, even from this short distance. But as the figure go closer it was obvious that it wore a robe with its head covered with a hood and cowl. It walked with what looking like a large cane or staff. The breeze that swirled the mist made its cowl flutter, but its face remained hidden in that gray misty shadows. 

When the figure was within 10 feet of the traveling pilgrim it twisted its walking staff to a sight angle to reveal that it was a green stone sword, its hilt hidden by the angle the robed figured held it at.
My blood ran cold as I recognized the weapon. It was the same sword from the 8th dream all those 21 years ago. And the details!! I could clearly see and trace the patterns that ran its length. I could see the pits and chips and cracks through the strange green stone...

...and as the robed figure raised its head, the breeze that caused the mist to eddy blew back his cowl and his face became visible, and his face was mine. It was my face, but as it smiled I realized it was as alien as could possibly be. Its eyes were empty as it smiled... and the breeze became slightly stronger and the flesh on his face lifted and flew in small circles in the wind – looking identical to dry dead autumn leaves caught in the wind, and his face with nothing more than a grimacing skull. 

And as the breeze slightly calmed down, the dead dry autumn leaves found their way back and reformed him human-like disguise.

It was at this point that that third-party, disconnected, disembodied perspective ceased, and I became the pilgrim wearing only the white pants and red/brown silk sash around his waist.

The robed figure (me?) quickly flipped the stone sword right-side-up and charged.
The pilgrim (me?) countered and attacked using only martial arts.

I was vaguely aware that I had freedom within this dream. Although I could not avoid this combat, I was in complete control as to the fighting itself. (In the real world, at the time of this dream, I held a Red Belt in Taekwon-do – that's 2 belts short of Black).

I'll gloss over this longest part of the dream. In short, it was these two fighting. But I will repeat what I had said earlier. It was like watching a movie in HD 3-D!

But every time the pilgrim scored a (brutal) hit, the stone-sword-wielding robed figure's flesh would explore off, carried by the wind like dead autumn leaves, only to return and reform it's skin. But still the two combated one another.

It went only like this for some time (And like ringnut's description of rage-dreams, that is very similar to what I was emotionally experiencing – rage, yet controlled. Although the words were never spoken in the dream, the underlying 'message' or 'feel' was this far and no farther!.

The battle changed at one point. The two broke away from each other as the pilgrim stood legs apart and braced with his fists at his side. He seemed to be summoning some sort of energy or power. (As embarrassing as this sounds, it seemed very much like Goku's Kamehameha attack).

Unbeknown to the pilgrim, from behind him came this monstrous dragon. (The exact dragon of my tattoo!) It would seemed to have been 'swimming' through the ground, if such a thing were possible. Every time it arched out and boomed back into the ground was like thunder! And as it slammed into the pilgrim's back he glowed with power! He thrust his hands forward and a gale force wind blew towards the sword-wielding robed figure.

His hood and cowl completely blew back as he fought this wind. His skin stripped from his bones, but this time didn't spin in circles and reattach. This time it left his as nothing but bones; a bare skeleton and skull. And then the pilgrim charged and attacked!
He hit the skeleton with a flying side kick and this time it was shattered bone that blew away.
The sword-wielding figure still struggling against the winds, it's dead dry leaf-like flesh long since gone, and now its bones be shattered with every hit.

I returned to that third-person, disconnected, disembodied perspective and the camera-angle (you must again forgive me) began ascending, giving a more and more bird's eye view of the battling two, the sounds of their combat and the screaming wind becoming smaller and smaller until they would out of sight.

~ ~ 

I then came out of my 'meditative' state. (I woke up) 

Feb. 1/13

I think it is important to identify that there were three aspects of myself present within this dream, not two.

Solace and Compassion: Black Belt Thesis

Originally Submitted Jan. 2012
(Edited version)

Introduction

When asked to write this piece about my experiences here as a student of Master Florin Fratean, I was tempted to take the easiest path and speak of my experiences and 'adventures', my accomplishes and failures in the school itself. However, of everything I have experienced, learned and been taught - the various techniques, patterns, sparring, board breaking, tournaments, playing the rolls of referee and judge, the physical conditioning, and the health benefits – I came to realize all of these features (bonuses really) are most definitely measurable and testable; as they are clearly observed and literally tested during the Belt Testings.

I could talk of Master Florin as a great teacher and instructor, as I'm sure many will (and there is a great amount to be said and written about this, to be sure!) However, I decided to take the less traveled path and speak of my experiences in Taekwon-do outside the school. To speak of Taekwon-do's spiritual nature. (And yes, I am aware this might make you cringe at first).

Taekwon-do. The most obvious translation is “The Way of the Foot and Hand.”

Tae - “to break with foot”, Kwon - “to break with hand”, and Do... I believe it is the “do” that is most important. The “Do” is borrowed from the Chinese Dao, or Tao, meaning the way or path or route to something. The Tao is the fundamental nature of the universe, and I think that is important to note, for I believe it is this fundamental nature of the universe that this martial art ambitiously reaches for.

The gist of this piece is Taekwon-do's value within myself and outside the school in the world we live in.

Tattoo

I have been questioned by some as to why I am tattooed.

All of my tattoos have deeply personal and spiritual significance. Each has a story to tell.

Our greatest moments of growth are often during our most painful experiences. The only difference between myself and the “un-inked” is that I wear my scars on my sleeve; literally in my skin.

I have a large dragon-tattoo on my back. (A painful 25 hour ordeal). A good friend of my wife from Taipei, Taiwan, tells me that, in her culture, the dragon as a tattoo represents a sort of protection from harm and fear. However, it isn't that the dragon is tattooed on one's body that give it its power but that it exists within one's heart.

It is with humility that I share part of my history, my story of my tattoo, not to brag or show off. Quite the opposite. I have been asked once, why would I get such a large, painful, and expensive piece when nobody would see it? But that's the very point; it is not for anyone else. It is an outward expression of an inward conviction. It is solely for myself.

The Asian Dragon can represent many things, often symbolizing power, strength, courage, and Indomitable spirit (Baekjul Bulgul). However, in my case its significance is far beyond this common symbolism. This tattoo is a summation of my spiritual journeyⁱ to date and these last three and a half years as a student of Master Florin in Taekwon-do play a very heavy influence.

~

I have always been aware of a deep spiritual nature in Taekwon-do.

No, not religious. Religiosity would be its opposite. And no, I do not mean “spiritual” as in New Age hocus-pocus. My understanding of spiritual is a simple but vitally important one. Spirituality teaches us how to cope with ourselves and with others. Really, it is nothing more than Solace and Compassion. (Even the Atheist benefits from a spiritual health. Religion has little to no place in what I speak of).

I think it is for this reason since the first day I walked in this school as a white belt, up to and including today, that two particular points caught my interest and continue to capture and hold my attention.

Guk Gi (Self-Control) and Taekwon-do's 5^th oath (“I shall built a more peaceful world”).

These two features blend extremely easily with spirituality;

Solace (for the self) and Compassion (for others).

Solace is the Fruit of Guk Gi

Clearly Self-Control applies to learning when to reign in our power¹. Most especially during sparring. To have the ability to use only 50%; to not go 'full out'; to hold back from outright fighting or 'brawling'. Even to control our emotions and our temper. We must not allow our anger to override us.

Its opposite is just as true. We see this during board breaking. In this case we want to attempt to release 100% of our power. It is still, never-the-less, control.

But I believe Guk Gi can and does extend far beyond these examples.

I believe Solace is the fruit of Guk Gi...and for me, there are other applications of solace.

~

I worry about the future. This has always been a problem I’ve struggled and battled with. I worry about my financial stability, about my family's health, my kid's schooling, my wife's business, my job, my friends, my relationships, my well-being. And when I allow that rogue beast Worry to roam free, it does nothing but further feed and breed Fear. (No, not fear in the sense of being afraid of something or someone. But fear in the sense of Fear itself).

Too often I fall into the trap of living in the Past. Analyzing whether this or that choice or decision could have changed where I find myself today. When I open the memories and doorways to the past I run the risk of flooding myself with regret for what might-have-been.

When I spend my energy worrying about Tomorrow and regretful for Yesterday, I do nothing but destroy my Today. The illusion is that our Today – our Now – is a tiny hairline separating Yesterday from Tomorrow. The truth of the matter is that there is no future and there is no past, but only an eternally endless Now.

“Alan Watts likened the practice of living from our center to martial arts, where we are encouraged to “stay always in the center position, and stay always here”. He says, “If you expect something to come in a certain way, by the time you reposition your energy, it is too late. So stay in the center, and you will be ready to move in any direction”. When living from your center, in the now, he adds, “you stand a much better chance of being able to deal with the unforeseen than if you keep worrying about it” ²

I have found practicing the Tuls (patterns) in Taekwon-do extremely “centering” and a near form of Meditation. The concentration and focus clears the mind, forcing me to forget everything but the Now, returning the balance.

I do not miss the point of every pattern (at least to my limited knowledge) begins in one position and returns to this same position. A centering. A balance point.

I believe General Choi deliberately encouraged this symbolism of centering; reigning in our runaway imaginations – not dwelling on the past and not worrying about the future, but always returning to this state of centeredness.

I believe the trick is to borrow this learned wisdom as we practice it in our patterns and apply it to our lives on a daily level. It can only make us better and stronger.

I have found the Patterns bring me a tranquility; a peace of mind during difficult times; soothing as a meditation and finds for me an inner peace. I can remember during that extremely stressful time (May – June 2009) when we sold our old house and purchased our new home, practicing the patterns in class was the only time I enjoyed peace of mind.

Compassion

“I shall build a more peaceful world”

This is a difficult one. I am sure nearly everyone would at least in theory agree that this is a good and noble oath... but it is easier said than done. The question is, how do I attempt to accomplish this?

Within the gym it manifests itself with respect for others, humility, and most importantly, I believe, teaching and mentoring the young (whether directly or through example). For the young are the future.

“Tao gave birth to One,
One gave birth to Two,
Two gave birth to Three,
Three gave birth to all the myriads things of the universe.³

Kanji (text) from tattoo

Without a somewhat long explanation, the simplest way to explain this saying is to say that Truth is progressive. It is not a static thing. It is a living, growing, and evolving thing. Failure to see or realize this is to ultimately fall victim to religiosity.

I had spent my entire education within the Roman Catholic school system. Nearly my entire youth was spent in conflict with a rigid institution based upon inflexible Tradition. Although I hold value in Tradition – it allows us to have an identity, something to call 'home', a culture – when dealing with an overpowering tradition for no other purpose but its own, it becomes oppressive and flies in the face of truth. Unchangeable, immutable, inflexible Tradition is a dead and dusty thing.

It was so refreshing to see Florin's Ultimate Martial Arts Centre's motto on their vans,

“Where Tradition Meets the Future”.

It is the values of Tradition yet with the living openness for growth, learning, and evolving! And for me, coming out of years and years of struggling conflict, it was like a breath of fresh air!

“I shall build a more peaceful world”

These are powerful words.

It is this oath that must transcend the boundaries of the gym. I see this as living Compassion.

But rather than ask how might I accomplish this, maybe I should ask what stands in peace's and compassion's way?

What is an obstacle to peace?

Worry, anxiety, Fear of what might yet be. Fear kills the Future; murders its potential; slays the perpetual Now, for it is in the Now that Fear's price is paid...

Fear is my greatest enemy.

It is a battle I’ve fought my entire life and one I continue to wage war with.

I have battled and struggled with worry, anxiety, and Fear for far too long. One of the driving reasons why I choose to study the martial arts of Taekwon-do was to at least attempt to combat this internal Fear. Through Taekwon-do I can see this desire and growth with the meanings of its belt colours:

• White is innocence.
• Yellow is the fertile earth from which a plant sprouts and take root.
• Green signifies the plant's growth and its reaching towards the sky.
• Blue signifies the heavens and sky towards which the plant matures into a towering tree.
• Red is the colour of the plant's first fruits. Red indicates danger. The student has sufficient skills to inflict injury to an opponent so must exercise caution and control. The red also acts as a warning to opponents.
• The Black belt is the exact opposite of white. The black colour represents the student's ability to overcome Fear and triumph over Darkness.

The Dragon of my tattoo represents a striving for this fearlessness; the confrontation and triumph over this Darkness. Darkness is not only the absence of Light, but includes triumph over ignorance. (And Fear is the child of ignorance). But defeating this Darkness – overcoming this ignorance – sometimes means actually embracing the unknowable; potentially one of the most divisive issues on this planet; Peace's greatest obstacle.

To me, Compassion towards my fellow man, woman, and child outweigh one's belief. And this, quietly, caringly, must be carried out into the world. We must teach and mentor the young. We must teach them how to think, not what to think. We must choose education over indoctrination. We must become humble ambassadors to the world.

Finale

I'll end by asking a question.

Once I remove everything that I have learned from Taekwon-do that can be measured and graded and tested in class;

Once I remove myself from the school;

Once I remove my uniform;

Once I remove my belt;

What is it that remains within me?

I believe the answer is solace and compassion.

In my soul I carry the spirit of the “Taekwon-do Dragon”. It is alive and well and lives and breathes in my very heart. It is what allows me to find confidence and peace within myself and compels me to show compassion and hold hope for a better and more peace filled world.

The symbol of the Dragon I literally carry in my skin, and it is this that I carry out into the world.

1 I think it's important to avoid confusing “power” with strength.

I believe “Power” is composed of 5 elements: 1) physical strength, 2) speed, 3) accuracy, 4) technique, and 5) belief.

Only when all of these elements are joined together do you truly find your “Power”.

When sparring (either in training, practice, or tournaments) the rule is 50% Power. (It shouldn't be full contact). The reasoning is that (I think) sparring in Taekwon-do is a points-system, not a brutal “knock-them-down-drag-them-out” sport.

However, that leaves us with the problem of how do we know what our “100% Power” is if we cannot use it in sparring? The use of board breaking is to demonstrate one's “Power” without inflicting it upon another human being or opponent. That is why, I believe, we do board breaking.

2 Candance B. Pert, The Molecules of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine (New York: Touchstone, 1997), pg. 27

3 Excerpt from Tao Te Ching, verse 42, by Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism

i I had mentioned that this Dragon-tattoo is a summation of my spiritual journey for me in which TKD played a large influence, but not the only influence. If there is interest in learning more about the meanings and symbolism behind this tattoo, please feel free to visit my blog site and read more at http://pieceofburlap.blogspot.com/2010/12/tattoo-solace-in-pain.html.

The Paths We Walk

Fear or concern for a lack for resources for our continued survival drives us towards community or tribalism. Whether individuals or corporate entities, all begin from this position.

One is a legitimate concern for a lack for resources for continued survival. This ultimately will lead to co-dependence and build Community. The belief that our pooled resources are more valued than our individual resources.

The other is the Fear of a perceived lack for resources - possibly motivated by error, paranoia, or greed. Ultimately the lack of resources in this case isn't real. It is based upon fear and the error that their resources are a commodity; that their resources make them powerful compared to others.

There is a difference between fear and concern, but in this early stage they are difficult in not impossibly to differentiate. Early on, I am sure both are true to some degree. It only becomes important when a direction of growth occurs. Either one can easily morph into the other in these early formative stages. But ultimately once their footing is established they will develop along distinctively difference paths.

A legitimate concern for a lack of resources necessary for continued survival will build Community. This kind of social structure will eventually begin non-zero-sum thinking. It will also see the introduction of a limited or conditional compassion. This is important because, further down the road, there's the potential for the birth of true Compassion.

A perceived fear of a lack of resources (or simply a desire for a surplus) will breed Tribalism. This kind of social structure views the world in zero-sum terms. It has no choice but to develop Envy. Not only coveting what another has (whether an individual or rival tribe) but believing the other's loss is somehow their gain.

It is important to understand that we are redefining the terms Community and Tribalism here to identify two separate paths of development. These paths can and do apply to individuals, institutions, and corporate entities. 

But it is critically important that we pause for a moment and thoroughly understand what is meant by "resources". 

Yes, most definitely "resources" can mean food & shelter. But it can also include safety & security, affection & love. Even a newborn baby finds itself in this position of 'being driven by fear and/or concern for a lack of resources towards community or tribalism'. Its mother's milk and safety and warmth & affection are the baby's "resources". Its community or tribe can be its mother's relationship and family. It can live in community with its siblings, or it can live in tribal competition with them. 

But "resources" can be expanded to include a great many things. Resources can be anything needed - or perceived to be needed - for continued survival. For example, from a religious industry point of view, Salvation could meet these criteria. After all, by this thinking, Salvation is needed for "continued survival". And if this resource is mistaken for a commodity (power), we are led well into Tribalism.

Continuing along this path from Tribalism and its zero-sum mindset, there is no other direction for development but eventually to embrace Envy. And as mentioned earlier, Envy not only allows oneself to justify why they deserve what another has, it also can allow them to rationalize why the other doesn't even deserve what it has. Envy is created by Fear and breeds hatred.

But the individual or group/institute/entity/etc. is not yet without hope. At some point - whether directly or indirectly - they will be forced to face the fact that this Envy is at their heart or center. It is at this point where Confusion enters.

Although existing in a state of Confusion is not good or healthy, there is at least the potential for change and growth.

It is at this point where two paths emerge.

One path (Reflection) reverses its direction. It identifies the unfounded Fear that initially created its tribalism, accepts the truth for what it is ("Dharma"), purges its Envy and Fear, and undoes it. It learns and grows and evolves in a more positive and healthy direction.

In its alternate path (Denial) it continues in its Confusion, in denial of the truth. It attempts to justify and keep its Envy. It will delude itself into believing in a mock-compassion in order to perpetuate the illusion of community; this mock-compassion being really little more than Pity. In reality it practices Pity and Envy but convinces itself that it is Compassion and Righteousness.

At this point their ability to lie to themselves is well established; they have believed their own lies and non-truths. They have entered an existence of Delusion.

Delusion, Envy, and Fear are the key operative demons, with each solidifying and strengthening the other. It is a difficult position to escape from, primarily because there is no desire to escape. Its defense is to have convinced itself that it is right and correct - no change is needed. (On a side note, I think this is what ails modern day Christianity. It has evolved down this path of Tribalism under the disguise of "Community". It has mistakenly justified its Pity as Compassion and Envy as Righteousness. Where it should have followed another path...)

These are the paths to Entrapment. These are the warnings we must be aware of and mindful of. But what is a better path? What is it that we should strive for?

Once we can find ourselves able to Reflect is the turning point.
It is the escape from a state of Confusion.
It is the beginning of the end of being Ego-centric.
It is at this point that we self-question, self-analyze, and when Doubt enters.
Contrary to much religious thought, Doubt is anything but a lack of faith. Doubt is hope. Doubt is the beginning of spiritual growth. It is the prerequisite to approaching The Mu Portal.  Without Doubt we cannot self-assess.
Once we can begin to purge our competitive habits - our Envy, Fear, Delusions - once we can clear the Confusion and abandon our Tribal zero-sum thinking and begin embracing true Compassion, "Dharma", and begin finding Solace for ourselves are we on a healthy and spiritually enriching path - not only for ourselves, but for all those around us.

~

This confusing and seemingly meandering path applies to everyone and everything. Whether they are individual beings, organized institutions, religions, businesses, social groups, or corporate entities. The paths we walk apply to our internal, individual journeys, as well as to how our communities function and grow or stagnate.
Only if we are aware of the paths we walk, do we have any hope to effect their directions.

Compassion & Envy - Dharma & Delusion

Unwholesome thoughts are those that (are not conductive to freedom and happiness, but rather) promote suffering.
Unwholesome thoughts (also called unskillful thoughts) are connected to selfish desire, hatred, or delusion.
Therefore, selfish desire, hatred, fear, envy, and (especially) delusion promote suffering.

There is a particular pattern of unskillful thinking ("unwholesome thoughts") that most of us regularly practice nearly instinctively. It is a manner of thought strongly encouraged by our competitive culture. (and also fosters zero-sum thinking).

We have the insidious habit of seeing how we measure up to other people ("comparing mind"). Our culture is obsessed with it and thrives on it.

The most damning effect of this 'comparing mind' is the unnecessary suffering it causes. Not only do we feel bad about ourselves, but we begin to wish ill upon others - sometimes to the point where we are willing to take actions to realize those wishes. This is the birth of Envy.

Not only is Envy a stumbling block and obstacle to Compassion, but Envy fetters Compassion.

Compassion is a form of empathy, but much more than that. Compassion is action. It will not just sympathize, it'll do something about it. To only sympathize is Pity. And Pity is a very pale reflection of Compassion.

What will block and impede Compassion is Envy. Yes, there is fear and jealousy, but Envy is much more dangerous and damaging. With Envy there is also the intent or desire - either directly or indirectly - to inflict misfortune or harm onto another. Not only do you desire what they have, you don't wnat them to have what you possess (because what you possess is a commodity and makes you powerful). It is Compassion's opposite and a stumbling block.

Compassion
The capacity for compassion is our deepest nature as human beings. I believe we are all innately good.
(...and on a side note, I also think that doctrines like the Calvinists Total Depravity only further feeds Envy and slowly eliminates Compassion, allowing them to only - at best - show Pity).

Compassion does not require that we feel affection towards others. We can have compassion for our worst enemies. In fact, the very nature of true compassion might necessitate it. Compassion cannot be selective.

Compassion is not Pity, although the two are often easily confused. Pity is simply feeling sorry for someone who has to endure suffering, but pity keeps itself distance from suffering. Pity can't get past the element of fear; it's afraid of pain and suffering and wants to flee from its presence.

Compassion doesn't keep its distance. Compassion is willing to be with suffering up close and personal because it has learned to accept rather than resist pain.

Dharma
Although Dharma is a Buddhist term, I don't see the concept as exclusively Buddhist. I believe the Buddhist's understand it and draw from it, but don't "own" it.

Dharma is our openness and willingness to accept the truth as we discover it. Our receptiveness to it and our ability to allow it lead us, rather than force it to fit our preconceived notions and agendas. Our willingness to allow it to change and direct ourselves rather than twist and coerce and manipulate it.

It is dealing with the struggle and tension between truth and fact. (as they are not the same things).

The truth never needs defending. This is Dharma. Only our truths needs defending. This is Delusion.

If we are open and aware and allow ourselves to be led where ever it is that the truth leads us, we consistently reduce the levels of delusion in our lives.

Delusion is Dharma's enemy.

Entrapment

I believe it was the Buddha that had once said we are all enlightened beings; we just don't know it yet.

Our natural state is enlightened. I'll borrow from the Taoists when I say I believe our innate state is our Wu Wei Nature, it's just blocked.

I call this state, or at least the avenue towards it, The Dharma Entanglement.

“Solace and Compassion are entangled by Dharma”.

It's important to understand what these terms are and aren't.

Solace is basically inner peace. Solace calms one's fear of suffering. Fear is its opposite and fear fetters solace.

Compassion is a form of empathy, but much more than that. Compassion is action. It will not just sympathize, it'll do something about it. To only sympathize is Pity. And Pity is a very pale reflection of Compassion.

What will block and impede Compassion is Envy. Yes, there is fear and jealousy, but Envy is much more damaging and dangerous. With Envy there is also the intent or desire (either directly or indirectly) to inflict misfortune or harm onto another. Not only do you desire what they have, you don't want them to have what you possess. It is Compassion's opposite and a stumbling block.

Although Dharma is a Buddhist term, I don't see the concept as exclusively Buddhist. I believe the Buddhist's understand it and draw from it, but don't 'own' it.

Dharma is our openness and willingness to accept the truth, whatever it may be. Our receptiveness to it and our ability to allow it to lead us, rather than force it to fit our preconcieved notions and agendas.

The truth never needs defending. Only our truths needs defending.

If we are open and aware and allow ourselves to be led where ever it is that the truth leads us, we consistently reduce the levels of delusion in our lives.

Delusion is Dharma's enemy.

Solace and Compassion are entangled by Dharma.

These three form The Dharma Entanglement, and this leads us back to our innate Wu Wei Natures.

Fear, Envy, and Delusion lead us astray. They form our illusionary Ego and our Ego entraps us, imprisons us, and stagnates our spiritual growth.

When we associate ourselves with some sort of tribal identity we add to this toxic concoction a Corporate Ego as well.

This tribalism of Corporate Entities can be anything from a favourite sport's team, to a political party or position, to a nationalist (being patriotic), to religious affiliation, and the list goes on.

The Mu Portal

The Dharma Entanglement is blocked by the encircling Ego.

We are entrapped by our Ego.

Ego is fabricated by three elements; Delusion, Envy, and Fear.

Dharma, Solace, and Compassion compose The Dharma Entanglement and our innate Wu Wei Nature, for Dharma emancipates us from Delusion, Compassion from Envy, and Solace from Fear.

The way forward through these blockades and barriers of the Corporate and Private Ego is through the Mu Portals.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The heretical Rabbi, Yeshua of Nazareth, spoke of a strange and elusive concept he called The Kingdom of God. Something that was yet to come, yet strangely present in the Here and Now; within ourselves (Luke 17:21). An unrealized potential.

Yeshua was an exemplar; he was a Revealer rather than a Redeemer. It is religion, religiosity itself that kept us ignorant, captive, and slaves.

What I believe Yeshua truly taught wasn't the advent of new religion (Christianity), but a heightened awareness - a sort of freedom and enlightenment, rather than a salvation. Yeshua's Kingdom of God wasn't a new religion, but the end of all religion. The escape hatch from this Edenic Birdcage; emancipation from the Entrapment of Religiosity itself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mu is Japanese for “not” often used as a prefix, but can stand alone, simply as 'not'. It can mean to “unask the question", suggesting that the problem does not lie within the answer (there is no correct answer), but within the question itself. The problem needs to be approached from another point of view. I think this gateway is critical to one's spiritual journey. Without it, it is simply stagnation. Growth becomes impossible. The entrapment of religiosity remains unbroken.

Although there could be many possible paths to the Dharma Entanglement, ultimately I believe “Mu” is a necessary gateway to escape the shackles of Religiosity and enjoy the emancipation of Spirituality. (Only then can Spiritual Solace be realized, cultivated, and nurtured).

I think this may very well be the defining difference between the Religious and the Spiritual; parting ways from the disease or plague of religiosity. Abandoning these slave masters.

I have found many monotheists, as well as many Atheists, lack a healthy sense of Doubt, and suffer from an addiction to Certainty. And when we fall victim to the Certainty Addiction everything becomes a matter of knowing and fact and proving one's beliefs. Faith dies. Truth takes a back seat to being Right. Thus enters the hidden and silent inner conflict. Combine this addiction with inner conflict and the monotheist's concept (fear) of Damnation and their Solace's destruction is complete.

What we need to discover is our Mu Portal. Not only an exit point from our own dependencies on religiosity, but the knowledge and wisdom to realize that our religiosity is not only unneeded, but the one thing that kept us captive. It is the only way to attain Spiritual Solace and growth. It is our only way to break Fear's grip.

”Mu” (regardless of which avenue one arrives here or even by which name one recognizes it as) is the ability of simply 'letting go' and be at peace with not-knowing. What is important is the meanings and the lessons and the wisdom that are behind these myths, images, and symbols. These stories can be just as true for the Atheist as they are for a Christian or Buddhist or a Muslim or a fill-in-the-blank. Allowing a Faithful Doubt (rather than a Doubtful Faith) and living at peace with its mystery. Something many religious people (especially institutional religions) struggle with.

The Mu Portal doesn't belong to a specific religion or spirituality or tradition. All traditions have their Mu Portal(s) and they're not limited to one each. There could be as many Mu Portals as there are people. They may look drastically different and their purpose is not necessarily to deliver away from their individual religion, faith or tradition.

(But most often, I should imagine, it would drastically open one's eyes; rather seeing it as an exit from their religion or faith or tradition, they may prefer to see it as moving beyond it).

The Mu Portal frees the individual from the confines and entrapment of religiosity.

I believe a great many people never find the Mu Portal and never seek it.

I believe some, discover or stumble across it. Their first experience with it would be extremely confusing and terrifying – causing them to flee into the perceived comfort of the familiar and structured and established. Many will never revisit it again.

But some, even as frightened confused and wary of its extreme alien-ness, will sense a truth and an attraction to it and be slowly drawn back.

It won't make sense. It can't. By its very nature it is incomprehensible from the context it is being viewed from.

It is a spiral stairway with no banister or railings on a space station.

Without the railings there's no support structure, no guiding rules or regulations. Without the banister there's no safety; no protection from falling.

It isn't until you realize in 0-g you can't fall but only float.

It's difficult and challenging to understand this because of the context you were always taught to view things from. That is the nature of the Mu Portal.

It is both an Inner and Outer Journey.

To break free of the Edenic Birdcage, the Confines of Religiosity; to pass through the (1^st) Mu Portal is to escape from the Corporate Ego. (This is the Outer Mu Portal).

The second Mu Portal (inner)delivers one through their Personal Ego and into The Dharma Entanglement and to their true and innate Wu Wei Nature.

But it is vitally important to remember, what I speak of belongs to any and all traditions. I use some Taoist, Buddhist, and Christian terms (and even some I've been forced to name an label myself), but I am only capable of seeing this from my own experiences and attempting to express it from my own point of view.

Our innate Wu Wei Nature - this Dharma Entanglement - will be known by many other names and experienced in many different ways. Our Corporate and Private Egos will be known as something different as will out pathways and 'escape hatches'. Our passing through the Mu Portal will look like hundreds of different stories.

The last thing a corporate entity - an institutional religion - will allow is the escape of dependency upon itself. Of course most traditions don't speak of it, nor name it, or acknowledge it. It is the reason Yeshua was killed. It proposes the end of all religion. It is not important what we call it. What's important is that you acknowledge the Mu Portal's existence.